As I was sitting at a red light in stop and go traffic, my phone vibrates. I look down and see it’s a friend I haven’t talked to in quite some time. My day is already ruined and traffic isn’t making it any better so I begin to text. The light turns green as I was finishing up rant and my “fuck” turned into a “duck” and “this” turned into “tits”. I didn’t realize what I had sent at first because I was so pissed off about traffic and now I was actually able to move my car forward 4 feet. It wasn’t until I got home that I realized that SIRI really screwed me over. The last phrase I sent to my buddy was “duck tits” and now unfortunately I have a new nickname!

Can you imagine if we talked like we texted? English would be made up into 3 different languages, Animals, Body Parts and I DuNk CuM ge…me.. Texting does make life much more interesting. Almost everything we do revolves around a smart phone, to a point that we feel naked if we leave home without it. If I forget to put on clothes but I leave the house with my phone then it doesn’t matter. I can’t remember the last time I was more than 6 inches from my phone.

I don’t think it’s going to be long before house phones crawl in the coffin with the 8 track. It seems as if every year we lose something from our child hood, but gain 20 new apps that do the exact same thing. Before long I won’t even need to wake up anymore because I’ll have an app do all my work for the day.

Technology these days amazes me. I can’t believe there are still people out there that don’t even know what the internet is. We stare at those people like they are aliens that just invaded our world. Area 51 is real guys, I passed it on my way through West Virginia. Whatever you do, don’t get off the main road anywhere in “Mingo County”. No cell service, you will get lost in a “holler” and Wal-Mart is more than 20 miles away!

I really can’t complain too much about my life. I grew up a short homeschooled kid with 3 friends, I was the popular kid in school, my biological dad confesses to be a serial killer, I spent 11 years of my adult life getting yelled at in the Military. I’m now a 31 year old college student and I just get yelled at by my wife. I wouldn’t trade it for the world!

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