Back in my younger Marine days I would proudly wear my Dress Blues every chance I got. It’s not a myth ladies and gentlemen, the uniform will get you laid, free drinks and special attention.
On one of my travels back to Oklahoma City to visit the family I stopped in Knoxville, Tn for the evening. This was my senior year stomping grounds.
The plan was to find a hotel with a bar so I could enjoy a nice drink, enjoy some company, hopefully get lucky and then head out the next morning.
It was around 7pm on a weeknight and I got checked into the hotel. As soon as I got to my room I shower and start prepping my Dress blues! “Shoes polished, check. Lint roll the coat, check. Pants ironed,check. Mirror selfie and published on MySpace, check!”
Looking clean and smelling fresh I head on down to the hotel bar. I was 20 years old and knew that I could get by without having to show ID, I’m in uniform for christ sakes. Who would ID a man in uniform? That is one reason I enjoyed wearing my uniform so much at a young age, I couldn’t get away with that by the military base.
This was an older Ramada Inn, with a nice size bar and dance floor. With it being so early I knew I would be one of the firsts in the bar, but that was great. It gave me an opportunity to chat with the bartender and do some pre-gaming before the cougars and lonely middle-aged house wives came out to prey on young military men from out of town.
The bar itself was in the middle of the room and a few tables and booths lined the outskirts of the room. There was a small stage for live music and the rest of the floor was for dancing. Not a bad set up at all, being young any place that I could drink and get into without pulling out the ID was the best place ever.
I sit at the bar and sip on a jack and coke while listening to light jazz. The bartender started asking me questions about my service and I responded with a few boot camp stories. Not long went by and a older man came into the bar and sat right next to me.
I was thinking to myself “come on man, out of all the seats in the house and you wanna sit next to me, fucking cockblocker!” I didn’t say that though, he immediately asked what I was drinking and told the bartender to get me another on his tab. “Sweet!” This night is starting pretty good.
About a half hour goes by and I’m on my 3rd free drink when this old guys grand daughter comes into the bar. She was smoking hot! 5’8 120lbs, curly brown hair and dark skin. She was wearing a black skirt, heels and cream colored low cut blouse. I was on heaven! She was absolutely gorgeous. I guessed her to be around 22.
The old man introduced us and we hit it off right away. Had a few more drinks and was having a really good time. Then comes shot time……..I wasn’t a big shot taker at the time but I could handle just about anything. The bartender asks me and the lady what kind of shot we wanted and I let miss gorgeous decide. I was thinking to myself she was going to pick a lemon drop or maybe something fruity or light. Boy was I wrong!!!! She asked for 2 flaming shots!
I was trying to comprehend what she just said “flamingshot..fire..liquor, this can’t be good”. The place had a pretty good crowd in it by now and I had just about shook hands or hugged everyone in the bar. I was obviously the youngest besides the new lady friend. Everyone else was upper 30s and early 50s.
Here we go, all eyes on me. The hard charging sexy Marine had a shot glass in front of him containing “sambucca and 151” with a small flame on top. Never in my life have I seen such thing. So what you do is place the palm of your hand on top of the shot glass, it creates a vacuum seal. You then make small circles with that hand and the shot glass will not fall. On the count of 3 you pull the glass off of your palm and take the shot!!! 1…2…3!!! As soon as the shot hit my lips the aroma from the liquor and the fumes from the fire instantly sent a shock through my body and before the liquor was all the way down my through I fell flat on my ass!!!!!
It took about 30 seconds to regain my composer before I could stand up. I had about 10 people trying to help me up. I was bright red and looked like a freight train just hit me! I rushed out of there so fast they thought I was running from the cops! I went up to my room and spent the rest of the night on my knees in the bathroom looking at my dirty reflection in the toilet.
Oh the young days when you think you are invincible. Nothing like getting slapped with reality and hit with some embarrassment. The moral of the story, don’t let the pretty girl pick the shot!!!