A Warriors Struggle

A look into struggles that so many of us face


August 2015

Living With A Broken Soul

I hear his cries at night. There are times I don’t know what to do and I get scared. I love him so and just want to take a way the pain.

He is such a special man. I would do anything to make him happy. I ask him questions about the inner scars, most of the time he ignores the question but when he speaks I try to listen.

I can see the invisible tears and I just want to help. How can I help if he doesn’t let me in. I know there is a smile that I must find. I will find it even if it’s the death of me.

He looks lost and out-of-place, but I try to pick him up and place him back on the path he was on before. I know he hasn’t forgotten how to live, I must stay patient and allow him to heal.

It’s so hard because I can feel his pain, he acts like I don’t understand and never will. It’s not about me understanding but being a team. Let me in, let me help you heal. I promise to keep a gentle touch and give you space to fully grow into the man I know you are!

I will not give up on you, just know I am here. I will not allow the demons to win and I will fight by your side til the very end!

© Tim Foster – 2015


The Seed

Mom, when I grow up I want to be a firefighter. I wanna help people who are hurt. Son, you can be anything you put your mind too!

Most of us have had similar aspirations as a kid. Some of us actually followed through with our child hood dreams and others changed their mind on what they wanted to do later in life.

If we really break down our goal or desire then we might actually be closer than we thought in achieving our child hood goal. I wanted to be a firefighter so I could help people. Well, my dream came true without being a firefighter. I am now able to help people.

This world we live in is selfish. Everyone wants something for themselves. We don’t live alone though. We live in a world that seeks attention and success.

We get wrapped up in our own struggles and feel sorry for ourself thinking we have failed. We are not failures. We might have made some bad decisions but it doesn’t mean we have failed, we still have a chance.

When I got out of the Marine Corps I thought that I had failed because I didn’t make it to 20 years. But that’s not the case at all. It’s opened me up to a much larger opportunity that I didn’t realize until now.

If we continue to set goals for ourselves, work hard to achieve them but also help others along the way we will eventually reap the rewards.

It’s similarly to gardening. You have to plant the seeds in order to reap the harvest. It takes time and you don’t get immediate results. Sometimes you might get a bad crop but the big picture is a much larger reward.

Let’s plant our seed today. It might be helping the elderly load groceries into their car, maybe give the waitress an extra 10% on the tip or even give a smile to everyone you pass today. Good luck and happy planting!

© Tim Foster – 2015

Broken Soul

Be patient and gentle for we are delicate. We are hurting more than you can imagine. Our tongue is sharper than before, sharpened by the pain that consumes us. Our voice is louder than before to over power the cries that ring in our ears.

You might feel neglected or left out but please don’t think it’s personal. We feel dazed and confused and strive to live the life we had before. We will never be the same, please understand.

For every brother we lose, we lose a piece of ourself. We become weaker and vulnerable. This does not mean we will fail, but means we must fight harder to defend against the demons that try to penetrate us.

We will eventually talk and when we do please listen. Nothing more, nothing less. Sometimes we might talk a little, sometimes we might talk a lot. You will not understand what we are saying and please don’t try to, just listen and let us wipe our tears.

We would never want you to feel the pain we embrace. We wouldn’t wish it on our worst enemy. If I wake you in the night, don’t be afraid. I’m fighting a battle and will do anything to keep you safe.

I will always love you, remember this. If you can handle me then I will die for you!

© Tim Foster – 2015

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